Tales of interest

Posted: 3rd January 2010 by Get No Happy in Angry Rants, Miscellaneous, Politics
Tags: ,

Elections
Why should the leading party get to say when an election is called? Simple question really. Why? We know that our system is relatively* undemocratic but it does seem something of an affront to liberty to allow the party in charge to choose the opportune moment to call for it’s own reappointment. When something shiny has distracted the more dimwitted of the voting populous perhaps. I’m actually surprised the election wasn’t sneaked through during either the collective lobotomy of Michael Jackson’s expiration or the ghoulish vulture-fuck surrounding Jade Goodies “too-hot-for-TV” demise; times when 90% of this moronic country were weeping into their commemorative t-shirts and the remaining 10% of us were feeling too fantastically superior to notice the last seal keeping Peter Mandelson in hell had been broken.

Even if one disregards any high-minded ideals of freedom, how about the boredom that comes with waiting for the damn thing to start? The political situation resembles the phoney war currently; each party press-releasing here, sound-biting there, all ready for the starting gun. Declare war so we can all start having some fun watching the fake dead smiles of politicians as they’re forced to be in proximity to the common man. On a personal note, family members have previously had to cancel holidays due to sudden election announcements and while I’m not saying decisions should be made just for the benefit of me and mine, there are worse reason… Simply put there’s no valid reason why an election shouldn’t be the same time every four years as long as there isn’t some sort of apocalypse occurring. Delivering leaflets during a zombie uprising would be problematic.

Security Scanners
What’s the big deal? Seriously? Do you need reminding of the fuss that occurred upon the discovery of the X-Ray a century or so ago? the potential horrors of mad scientists fiendishly masturbating to their photo album of techo-horrors? “BUT THEY CAN SEE THE OUTLINE OF MY BODY” people cry “I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE, NEVER MIND YOUR OUTLINE” I zing back, whilst waiting for a high-five.

I’m sure in these days of the internet, sex pests and paedophiles can find more alluring pictures of their chosen demographic than the blue-tinted and vaguely ghost-like images from these security devices. Sad fact is, there are people who enjoy blowing up planes, and they only need to be successful once to achieve their aim. I for one would sacrifice the potential of a security guard chuckling at my tubby ass for being on that one “successful” operation in the name of God.

And finally
What caps this off is that, in a variety bag of “fun sized” treats, there was only 2 bags of Skittles ๐Ÿ˜›

*I say relatively, as calling Britain undemocratic is one of those hyperbolic statements one normally makes from a soapbox while dressed as a clown, from a nice padded cell or from the editors desk of the Daily Mail. It’s like saying Britain is a police state, when it’s clearly not; when you detain someone on flimsy evidence and let them out to a flurry of journalists and protests this is not a police state; arresting someone in flimsy evidence, raping them with a bottle the leaving them half-dead at a relatives home is a police state. Ahem

  1. becca_san says:

    I think this is the foundation to your manifesto already!

  2. richandme says:

    Calling an election is done by the Crown – when that was literally the monarch it wasn’t such a conflict, but the current status quo (the fact that the date is set on advice from the executive) should be changed, even if the election is for the legislature and not the executive that calls it. And the lack of a set date is going to cause me personal havoc, potentially.