I do wonder who to vote for.

As much as I am loath to admit it, there really isn’t an awful lot to separate the parties. It’s easy to see why NOT to vote for Labour: The ‘Hammer of the Universities’ a.k.a. Dark Lord Mandelson whom I’m now pretty sure is Chinese spy sent to cripple Britain’s scientific community; Harriet Harman who by night is “Velocigina”* a Feminist super-hero who, armed with her fist shaped dildo of psudo-equality, travels the country crossing the word ‘man’ out of every dictionary; and Gordon Brown and his relentless commitment to convincing a nation that his “aspirational” spending cuts and tax hikes will be completely different to Tory “austerity” spending cuts and tax hikes.

Oh and the legacy of unpopular wars, a decade long rhetoric of “end to boom and bust” that recent events have show to be so much hot air, and of creating an infantile whining populous who are convinced it’s social services fault they jabbed a fork into their own eye…

But beyond this there are few reasons really to vote for anyone. They all promise a “fairer” society (although fail to qualify this), they all promise more developmental aid, they all promise to improve public services etc. At least in the US you know that post inauguration day you’ll either be applying for federal health insurance or legally buying a “self-defense” belt fed anti-aircraft gun before burning down an abortion clinic. It is somewhat ironic then that of the few standout policies of my party of choice (Lib Dem); no new Trident, no new nuclear power and a lowered voting age, they are all points I strongly disagree with.

The whole thing reminds me of the massive waste of time that is the student elections. Their signage mirrors contemporary politics pretty well, all promise “more equality”, “more democracy”, “no to the BNP” and such. Not that I disagree with any of this, but everybody says the same damn thing, so what’s the point? You may as well say “I’m against things most right-minded people think are bad and support things said people think are good” and save on some ink. In fact, it would save a lot of money if all candidates just printed off one leaflet saying the above and each just signed their own name on the ones they themselves handed out. For once I would like to see a sign saying “VOTE FOR ME AND I WILL RULE YOU LIKE THE KINGS OF OLD”. I would vote for them and their new and fresh idea.

Or indeed, more seriously “A vote for me will return higher education to the principles of meritocracy upon which British science and education has prospered; No to politically motivated social engineering”. But I suppose it doesn’t fit the woolly superficial discourse of “Yes to adorable kittens” that dominates these events…

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, the proper election. Currently, unless they’re all saving the equivalent of “War with Catholic Spain” for the electoral starting gun, I’m going to base my vote on the general culture that surrounds the party rather than any specific policies, as a party only shows it’s ideological distinctiveness during knee-jerks and wagon jumping: Labour tend to blame everyone else but those involved (eg, why socio-economic status dictates reading age), usually an “unequal” society or the middle-classes; the Tories tend to support the rich and ignore social pressures on those lower down; and the Lib Dems try and keep a middle ground while reminding everyone that they’ve been warning about what-ever-it-was for years.

The reason I ramble on about all this is because I still believe in voting; or at least believe that if you’re idle enough not to even fill out a postal vote form you have no right to voice an opinion about anything at all. Ever. Apart from jury service, it’s really the only time you are actively charged with adding weight to the “responsibility” side of the social contract scales. It’s not much, and then you can go back to demanding an appointed welfare officer to put toothpaste on your brush and ensure your morning coffee isn’t too hot.

*Credit for this word goes to Fan Fiction Friday

  1. richandme says:

    Maybe actually stop watching the bullshit that the media revels in, and go and speak in depth with your local PPC.

    Example is: I’m in Bristol, so I won’t vote Lib Dem here, with the exception of one Councillor in my ward because I know him and know where his priorities are.

    • Get No Happy says:

      You’re making the assumption that I don’t. On a local level both the Labour and Conservative parties are a bunch of bastards (their dirty tricks during some recent by-elections were appalling). Their manifestos are similar to the Lib Dem’s (even though, as the Lib Dem’s are the dominant group, both the Tory and Labour councilors have voted against things they ‘agree’ with)

      The Lib Dem MP himself is perfectly nice (though I’m waiting to here back about his view of the DEM), but is very on-message, especially about Nuclear Power. In regard to the other party PPC, they appear to have a similar relationship to their party

      And anyway it’s can never be just about local politics. They take their order from upon high, so one must always consider who your candidate is taking order from. It’s all very well say voting Conservative on a local issue until on May 8th a Tory majority government has withdrawn from the EU (OK I’ve just identified one major difference between the parties, Europe, forgot about that)

  2. katsukawaii says:

    As long as you dont vote for the Tory scum..